Rob: "Honey, don't throw that perfectly good crust out!"
Vic: *shaking crust at Rob* "I'm PORTUGUESE! Do you really think I am going to throw away perfectly good crust, I am throwing away my napkin!"

Rob: Mercifully, she removed the cackle from her opening credits
Rob: (Rachael Ray)
Rob: "I wanted to start with a ladies issue."
Vic: lol
Rob: "I queefed last night while my husband was fucking me."
Rob: ROTFL!!!!
Vic: *dies*
Rob: "Ooops, I can't say that on TV"

Vic: banquet sweet and sour chicken...
Vic: tasty, but it's basically rice, four chicken nuggets, and sweet and sour sauce.
Rob: Pretty much
Vic: No, I mean that literally.
Rob: I know
Rob: I used to eat them
Vic: It was the same shape as the chicken nuggets. lol
Rob: Once I got five chicken nuggets. That was a day for rejoicing, let me tell you!
Vic: ROTFL

On Michael Jackson:

Rob's friend Tamara: Is he dead dead, like for real real, not play play?
Rob: Like, Latoya Jackson is now the prettiest white girl at the dinner table, dead.

Jen, upon trying Wasa crispbread for the first time:

"AHHH! It tastes like Jesus!"

(I meant, obviously, the Communion wafer... which, I guess, according to Catholic belief, IS Jesus...)

For this to make any sense you may want to visit The Legend of Neil and watch an episode long enough to see the theme song...

Drew: I love the legend of Neil
Drew: Oh You bag of dicks!
Vic: LOL!
Vic: It seemed appropriate since you're playing a Zelda game.
Drew: yeah I might end up in the game myself LOL
Vic: Well, don't masturbate to the fairies, and you should be fine.
Drew: Can I masturbate to the gay looking character?
Vic: It's a Nintendo game. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Drew: lol
Drew: the main character
Vic: Yeah, go right ahead... Not sure who else wants to masturbate to Link, but different strokes for different folks. LOL.

Jen: (reminiscing about the old days) I want to go back to 1998!
Mike: Well, I'm afraid you can't.
Jen: Fuck you! You don't know about my Time Machine!
Mike: You mean the toaster?
Jen: ...yeah.

Jen: (not feeling well) Fucking Jesus
Mike: That's gonna be the name of my new ska band
Jen: Mine is going to be 'Jesus, Joseph and doggystyle Mary'
Mike: Wait...is that metal or ska?
Jen: I don't give a fluck..fuck.

*pause*
*laughter*

Jen: Don't make me laugh; I'm gonna puke!!!

In the middle of a conversation about Europe, Jen forgets what the residents of the Netherlands are called (that would be Dutch).

Jen: .... fucking wooden-shoe-wearing motherfuckers!
Mike: Those shoes are called sabots.
Jen: What?
Mike: Sabots.... don't you know where the word "sabotage" came from?
Jen: ... the Beastie Boys?

Jennifer: ah ok i thought we were still talking about the butterball faerie
Melissa: LOL
THEE butterball fairy
Jennifer: LOL
Melissa: b/c she exists
like santa
only she comes out at greasy redneck parties to deliver roasted chicken

During a conversation about Jen's adventures at Fleet Week NYC:

Melissa: but now tell me the truth
Melissa: how many marines did you kidnap that day and now have tied in your basement
Jennifer: LOL
Jennifer: as many that fit in my rental kidnapper van